Growing Older and Other Grievances

A Fall 2022 Update: Writings, Music, Pictures, and Pilates

all 2022 Playlist: “and we’re all changing like the seasons, starting to slow down”//songs that evoke extreme feelings of nostalgia. Highlight tracks: “Love,” “Pool House,” and “Kids”

Recently,

• I left a college football game during the first quarter to go grocery shopping.
• I’ve been overcome with nostalgia, the Fall mornings causing flashbacks to the first grade, my old backyard, and the book fair. I’m thinking about paper hand turkeys, making pumpkin pie, and watching Charlie Brown holiday specials. Which is odd, because my family never watched those. I’m nostalgic for memories that I’m sure might not have happened, but the feeling is still real. I’m thinking of matching holiday pajamas and my childhood home, questioning why I was in such a rush to ever stop being a child. I still wear those pajamas. I’m not mourning or regressing though. Just reminiscing. I keep moving forward, walking to class in misty mornings, feeling myself change along with the seasons.
• I watched A Bug’s Life again and starting re-reading the Frog and Toad books.
• I went grape picking.
• I fully processed that my little sister is turning eighteen and is not-so-little anymore. It’s been really bittersweet. I want to grow up to be more like her.
• I just read Pride and Prejudice for the first time.
• I had my first ever Pumpkin Spice Latte… I really liked it.
• I started doing Pilates in the morning. It’s sort of awful, but I’m proud of myself. I think feeling better might be a placebo thing, but I do feel better.

Highlight Tracks: “Eclipse,” “White Light Doorway,” and “Right Side of My Neck”

Please listen to this song with headphones while walking: https://open.spotify.com/track/2enPRFda84VE2wtI8c86Uf?si=baa05a7f43734df0

Highlight Tracks: “Two Headed Boy,” “Medicine,” “Come As You Are,” and “ Cologne”

Some Questions:

Who am I when I stop moving? When I’m still? Who am I if not a composition of what I do, those I touch? What am I without fingerprints leaving marks on clean glass? Without lipstick stains and spilt ink? I want to find out, find her — hold her close. Till then, I hope I like her. I hope she is happy.

For tilting your head out the passenger seat window//For when it’s not raining, but misting. Highlight Tracks: “Warm,” “Pretty Pictures,” and “Vampire”

Stay lovely

Some pictures: